PLAYING WITH FIRE

AT LAST! SOMETHING WORTHWHILE TO WRITE HOME ABOUT!

Today I will become the owner of a brand new
LAMP WORKING KIT


I will set up my very first ever
HOME STUDIO


Where I will apply my
NEWLY ACQUIRED SKILL


In practising the art of transforming
IMPORTED VENETIAN 'MURANO' GLASS


By means of
EXTREME HEAT


Into various delightfully
PRETTY THINGS


Which is sure to mean that, the one thing that all can be sure of having, is
GOOD TIMES

Piano

My nuutste musiek-boek aanskaffing op aandrang van my klavier-onderwyser



Voorwoord uittreksel deur C.L. Hanon:

"The study of the piano is now so wide-spread and good pianists are so numerous, that mediocrity on this instrument is no longer acceptable. Consequently, one must study the piano for at least eight to ten years before performing a piece of any difficulty, even at a gathering of amateurs. Few are in a position to devote so many years to this study.
It often happens, that for lack of sufficient practise, the play is uneven or incorrect.
The left hand gives out in passages of slight difficulty; the 4th and 5th fingers are almost useless for lack of special exercises; and when passages in octaves, in tremolo or trills occur, they are usually executed with such great exertion and strain, the performance is flawed and expressionless."




Nou ja, 'one year down, nine to go'.
Genoeg vir nou oor die klavier, maar onthou om te skryf oor a)die geskiedenis van my persoonlike klavier, b) hoe ek op die ouderdom van 32 die instrument aangepak het, en c) my ervaring die eerste jaar op klavier, my vordering, en my eerste UNISA musiek-eksamens.



Maar nou mag ek nie meer verder vertel nie! (as julle nie uit min-of-meer my generasie en agtergrond kom nie, en nie tv gekyk het toe julle klein was nie, sal julle nie verstaan wat ek bedoel met 'maar nou mag ek nie meer verder vertel nie'. Ek gee nie rerig om nie, want ek verstaan wel. So wê!)

Personifikasie

Goed dan, nou dat ons vasgestel het hoe 'n blog werk, hoe om prentjies op die ding te laai, hoe om te 'post' en so aan, het ek besluit om die spasie voortaan te gebruik vir my persoonlike 'ramblings', eerder as om buite materiaal te gebruik, dit te verwerk en slim te probeer klink daaroor (wat ek seker in elk geval so nou en dan nog steeds sal doen).

Punt is, my audience vir hierdie blog verander nou van wie-ookal af, na slegs myself alleen; wie ookal verveeld genoeg is en; die van julle wat te min van julle eie lewe het om dit saam met my te wil lees).

Bowenal bedoel ek vir my blog om te dien as testament/lewensopvatting van my belangstellings, lewenservaringe, doelwitte, sieninge ens. vir die blote doel om later van tyd, soos met 'n dagboek, daarna te kyk en te 'cringe' vir wat ek 5 jaar terug of 10 jaar terug geskryf het.

En, sou ek uit die vleis uit gaan, daar 'n stuk agterbly wat aanhou praat vir die van julle wat nog nie uitgekuier is nie.

MY VERY OWN: "FORWARD THIS CHAIN-LETTER TO AT LEAST 8 PEOPLE OR YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS! YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE!" CHAIN-LETTER.

THIS IS TOTALLY NOT A SCAM!
I SWEAR ON EVERYTHING THAT'S PURE AND GOOD AND FLUFFY IN THE WORLD!




- Ansie de Klerk from Swartruggens ignored this e-mail for an hour and was struck down with one of the worst cases of Chlamydia ever recorded! After ignoring this e-mail for a further two hours, her terribly infectious, sexually transmitted disease morfed into it's much-feared, dreaded hybrid, chlamidophyla felis, and spread among her 11 cats like a Land Rover full of Boere through a Soweto whorehouse at the Currycup-Final. (which is quite surprising, [for the cats that is, not the Boere], since the disease can only transmit during 'vaginal, anal or oral sex' according to Wikipedia. Poor pussies.)
Eventually, after totally dissing this TOTALLY NOT A SCAM! mail for the entire afternoon, Ansie de Klerk from Swartruggens
DIED!!!

DO YOU WANT TO DIE?




- Kelebogile Mogorotsi from Marabastad sent this e-mail to 8 people in her contacts list. (that's right! they don't have to be friends, or even family. Just send the bloody thing to that kind lady at the Blackberry Offices who keeps sending those phony e-mails promising free phones; or that website pestering you to increase your penis-size/breast-size/any-other-knobbly-bit size by at least 25% guaranteed; or your local church bible-study cell group; or whomever you choose...)
Anyway, so Kelebogile forwarded her mail, and marvelous things started happening to her!
She was INSTANTLY cured from a long-suffering, socially damning yeast-infection!
Within three days after forwarding this TOTALLY NOT A SCAM! e-mail, she was invited to be part of the very select guest-audience of the game-show Road2Riches on SABC2, which airs on Saturdays right before the LIVE LOTTO-draw show! (she might not have won anything, but still, she was THERE people!!!).
But all these pale in comparison to what was in store for Kelebogile Mogorotsi from Marabastad, EXACTLY ONE WEEK AFTER she forwarded this TOTALLY NOT A SCAM! mail to JUST EIGHT PEOPLE in her contacts list!!!!!!
Exactly one week after reading this mail, Kelebogile traveled to Khayelitsha to visit with her sister (another fortunate recipient of this amazing magical chain-letter [testimonial available on request]). Upon her arrival, having searched the whole morning, she found the only covered public toilet in the whole of Khayelitsha! Even though that in itself is enough reason for you to forward this mail to at least EIGHTY PEOPLE IN YOUR CONTACTS LIST, it is what she found inside this toilet which truly PROVES, UNEQUIVOCALLY and BEYOND DOUBT that this chain-letter works!
What did she find, you ask?
Don't, I'll tell you:
ONE HUNDRED TRILLION (zim)DOLLARS!



DO YOU WANT TO BE CURED OF THAT YEAST INFECTION?
DO YOU WANT TO APPEAR ON ROAD2RICHES?
DO YOU WANT ONE HUNDRED TRILLION DOLLARS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

HERE'S WHAT YOU DO:
Take a deep breath, stand up, and say the following words out loud (regardless of whether you are surrounded by an office of people.)
"I will never again forward senseless chain-mail to the original composer of this mail regarding a) things he could win (cell-phones; money; spiritual enlightenment), b) possible causes he might want to stand for (world-peace; hunger; thirst) or c) any other offers with attachments of pictures of children, little flowers, funny cats etc. I know that if I do, the STD-gnomes will visit me in the night and do unspeakable things to my unspeakables."

Now pick up the nearest pen in your right hand, and jab it forcefully into your left eye-socket.
Sit down, and forward this TOTALLY NOT A SCAM! mail to at least 8 people in your contacts list, vowing to never forward any such type of mail to any group of 8 people whomsoever in your contacts list EVER A-FUCKING-GAIN!!! DO YOU GET FUCKING IT?
Finally, and this is cardinal, kindly send a copy to a ninth recipient, Amanda Lee, Blackberry's Marketing Manager: amanda.lee@blackberry.com.

IGNORE this mail any and all things that could be aggressed upon you within the next two weeks, will be.

COMPLY, and one hundred trillion z dollars will be paid into your account within 24 hours (somehow).

THE MAN - THE LEGEND

cynthia 'plaster caster' albritton's 'career' as an 'artist' kicked off in the sixties. under the guise of an assignment for art class, she managed to use her idea as lure to entice rock stars to have sex with her, long before she actually made the first cast of any of their genitalia.
most famous of these are jimi hendrix (on whom she practised for two years before perfecting her method), and frank zappa (who was to become her most loyal patron).
her idea never quite came to full fruition, mostly due to lack of interest from other (more sober) musos. (and, most probably, because she was a pot-smoking crack-whore hippie who, when you really think about it, should never have been granted the opportunity to dip that first tottie).
calling cynthia 'plaster caster' albritton an artist is as unfortunate as calling susan boyle a singing sensation.

still...

the work is amusing:
JIMI HENDRIX
THE MAN



THE LEGEND




THE MEN
JELLO BIAFRA (singer - the dead kennedys)



JON LANGFORD



NOEL REDDING (jimi hendrix's bassist)



THE LEGENDS



in 2000 an attempt was made to revive the career by adding casts of breasts, among others those of laetitia sadier, singer of post-rock band 'stereolab'.
that's about as famous as the breast collection went:
THE GIRL



THE TWINS



one wonders how long before a susan boyle set is released...

ON A HIGH NOTE

top 20 cases of unusual/unfortunate/ironic/fucking hilarious deaths of musos:

NOMMER EEN
ramon barrero
mexican musician



cause of death: choking (famous for playing the world's smallest harmonica, ramon died choking on one during concert)..

NOMMER TWEE
ernest chausson
french romantic composer



cause of death: head trauma (from riding bicycle into wall).

NOMMER DRIE
salvatore 'sonny' bono
singer/songwriter



cause of death: injuries sustained (from skiing into a tree).

NOMMER VIER
cass elliot
singer (the mamas and the papas)



cause of death: choking (on a sandwich)

NOMMER VYF
randy rhoads
guitarist (for ozzy osbourne)



cause of death: aircrash accident (died in a plane trying to perform a trick next to ozzy's tour-bus, but crashing into the back of it in stead)

NOMMER SES
gustav kobbe
american music critic and author



cause of death: aircrash accident (seaplane landed on his boat)

NOMMER SEWE
selena
r&b singer



cause of death: gunshot wounds (shot by the president of her own fanclub)

NOMMER AGT
henry purcell
english baroque composer



cause of death: chocolate poisoning

NOMMER NEGE
wallingford riegger
american modernist composer



cause of death: head trauma (caused by being tangled in the leads of two fighting dogs)

NOMMER TIEN
claude francois
french popstar (penned 'my way')



cause of death: electrocution (tried to replace a lightbulb while standing in a filled bathtub)

NOMMER ELF
american folk songwriter



cause of death: injuries sustained (from falling off his bed)

NOMMER TWAALF
john glascock
bass guitarist - jethro tull



cause of death: heart complications (caused by absessed tooth)

NOMMER DERTIEN
jean-baptiste lully
italian baroque composer



cause of death: gangrene (which developed after having speared his toe with his bâton/conducting staff while conducting, and then refusing to have it amputated when it turned gangrenous)

NOMMER VEERTIEN
leslie harvey
guitarist - stone the crows



cause of death: electrocution (touched an unearthed microphone onstage with wet hands)

NOMMER VYFTIEN
lead singer/harmonica player - yardbirds



cause of death: electrocution (touched an unearthed guitar)...(at home)...(with dry hands)

NOMMER SESTIEN
terry kath
guitarist - chicago



cause of death: gunshot wound to the head (from playing russian roulette)

NOMMER SEWENTIEN
johnny ace
blues legend



cause of death: gunshot wound to the head (from playing russian roulette)

NOMMER AGTIEN
marvin gaye
r&b singer



cause of death: infanticide (shot and killed by father during family feud)

NOMMER NEGENTIEN
deon van der walt
world-renowned south african tenor



cause of death: infanticide (shot and killed by father during altercation, who then committed suicide)

NOMMER TWINTIG
st cecilia of rome



cause of death: martyrdom (died a martyr in a cell, singing praises to god, after numerous attempts at her life including smothering by steam, and three unsuccessful attempts at beheading)

QUOTES

claude debussy (22 Aug, 1862 - 25 Mar 1918)

"MUSIC IS THE SILENCE BETWEEN THE NOTES"